Tag Archives: potential

A New Beginning – Arielle Doman

NACD Blog Bob DomanMy son Laird and his lovely wife Sadie have gone and done it, they have brought a baby girl into my family at last. I have two great sons and three grandsons, but have really wanted a granddaughter. Granddad was ready for a girl. My first granddaughter (wow!) Arielle is a beautiful little girl, just 4lbs 11oz. at birth, strong and healthy and after her first week doing spectacularly well.

In the case of our little Arielle, the first thing I do when I see her is smile—actually it’s probably more of a big grin. She is just such a wonderful miracle, and I am so happy to have her with us and thrilled for my son and his wife. After I do the silly grin thing with her, I do what I do with all babies.

When I look at babies, and my little granddaughter is no exception, I have to bite my tongue to not say “what?” out loud. In reality I generally lose the battle and just say it—“what?” Then look around to see the expressions on people’s faces as they wonder what I’m doing asking questions of a tiny baby, “what is going on in that new little brain?”

Yesterday, as I watched Ari stare at my face and start tracking me as I moved from side to side I couldn’t help but wonder what she was processing. You don’t pay attention to something unless you are actually processing something. Is her brain perhaps already putting together the first pieces that are going to build into a uniquely special Arielle composite that is going to be Granddad? I think so. Then I ask myself the question, “what can we help you become?”

I believe she was born with a lot of things, her genetics are going to have a great influence on how tall she will be, what color hair she will have, how much she favors my son or his wife, and to some extent her personality is probably a bit hardwired. Certainly there are some unique innate intelligence and intelligences that are hardwired as well. But, I don’t believe these things have a lot to do with Ari’s or any other child’s potential to have a happy, wonderful life or to be smart, educated and free to pursue her passions. How close she comes to realizing the dream of a wonderful life is going to be primarily a reflection of her opportunities, not her genetics. My son and his wife realize this and were ready to assume this tremendous responsibility before they made the conscious decision to bring her into this world. They are going to be fantastic parents and I will be delighted to take this journey with them, as will the rest of her family. Children bring to families a lot of responsibility, tremendous love, hope, joy, and a bump or two (or a hundred) to keep it interesting.

I don’t wish to be prejudiced, but I have got the darn cutest little granddaughter on the planet and its really going to be tough to not spoil her really bad, but then again you can’t really give a granddaughter too much love—right?

As I ponder Arielle’s future and what she is going to bring to our lives and we to hers I can’t help but be a bit sad thinking about all of those children who have virtually no opportunities, let alone wonderful opportunities. We need to acknowledge this imperative and figure out ways to make some changes.

A special thanks to little Ari from Granddad—I really appreciate your being aware of my travel schedule and coming early so I could be there to help welcome you into the world.

And, now for the rest of the story…

new_beginning

The Foundation of Education - Scissors? NACD Blog

The Foundation of Education—Scissors?

I just conducted a Skype evaluation with a parent who has a developmentally delayed, ASD (Autism Spectrum Disorder) child from our Beijing chapter, one of NACD’s international hubs. This mom made a remark that I have heard probably thousands of times through the years, but realizing that the issue she brought up is international and not just a US issue has compelled me to comment.

This mother of a three-year-old who cannot not dress or undress himself, one of the foundational representations of independence and fine motor skills, commented that she was concerned her child may have a fine motor problem, not because her child couldn’t remove his sock, but because the preschool he attended was waving a red flag since this little three-year-old was not yet cutting with scissors. Really!

I have long wanted to ban scissors from preschools, but if we were to do that what would they do all day? Children can only eat so much paste. What criteria could they use for success, what would they use to validate their existence?

In the interest of full disclosure, I will admit that I am a bit biased on this subject. In 1951 I flunked cutting with scissors. Yes, I confess I flunked. It was my first and actually not my last academic disaster. I was shamed and humiliated. I never should have flunked cutting with scissors even though I was five, I really shouldn’t have been encouraged to use scissors. But beyond that, there was actually a reason why I flunked cutting with scissors. I was left-handed and back then they didn’t make left-handed or uni-hand scissors—which don’t really work with either hand.

Cutting with scissors can actually be used as a metaphor for a number of issues with education, that being just because we/they have been using it forever doesn’t make it right, smart or neuro-developmentally correct.

I am genetically predisposed to be left-handed and left-sided and as with many of us lefties, we do not clearly demonstrate which is our dominant hand as early as right-sided children. From the get-go the world encourages us to use our right hand like the majority of the population. Back when I was starting school everyone wrote with their right hand. Right was right and left was wrong. Even though we lefties know that only left-sided people are in their right minds. In countries like China that is still the case—everyone is taught to write with the right hand.

Children typically do not strongly and conclusively demonstrate a dominant hand until they are globally, neuro-developmentally about a 5*. For children with a developmental issue, that point is often not reached until years later than their chronological peers. So, should we really be encouraging and pushing one-hand, dominant-hand activities like writing and cutting before we even know which hand the child should be using?

If children must go to preschool, how about teaching them how to actually start becoming independent. Dressing and undressing themselves might be a good start, making their bed, or even cleaning up after themselves. Montessori schools often do a good job of teaching children how to manage self-help skills and household tasks. But cutting with scissors? I can often go from Christmas to Christmas without ever touching a pair of scissors. Since when was cutting a four-year-old’s survival skill or foundational fine motor function? Perhaps its a four- or five-year-old rite of passage that they need to cut their hair just that one time to see how they look with that bald spot in front.

Ranking right up there with “cutting with scissors” is writing and we really shouldn’t just blame preschool and kindergarten teachers, we need to throw in some occupational therapists as well. Teachers and therapists—please stop trying to make little children develop one-hand dominant skills like writing and cutting before they are neuro-developmentally ready. Not until most children are neuro-developmentally about a 5* can we accurately and safely determine which is their dominant hand. Prior to that time, they can swing back and forth. Besides, what is the rush? You are often not only teaching a child a one-handed skill and pushing them toward that hand, but you are probably doing it before their working memory, attention and motor planning are up to the task. The result being that you are only succeeding in teaching them that they can’t do it properly. Congratulations, they have learned to hate it! Our NACD cardinal rule of education is that step number one is teaching the child to love whatever it is you are trying to teach. Failure doesn’t teach them to love writing or cutting with scissors.

So much of education is based on perpetuating a list of things to teach children in different grades, regardless of whether or not it is meaningful, relevant, neuro-developmentally appropriate or if anyone really expects the student to understand, assimilate or remember it. We often take little children who prior to beginning their “education” love learning anything and spend the next twelve or more years teaching them to hate learning anything—brilliant!

Part of this tragedy is that there is so much that could be and should be done with all children, not the least of which is building a neuro-developmental foundation that actually gives them access to their innate intelligence and really affects not only their education, but their ability to learn, think and communicate—their futures. It’s the 21st Century and it’s about time that the educational system understood that children have these things they carry around between their ears that we call brains and that we have the ability to develop them all, not just try to push things into them. We can build a foundation of auditory and visual processing, short-term memory, working memory, executive function, visualization, and conceptualization and overall neurological efficiency. I would love to see our classrooms and schools receive report cards based on how well they are creating children’s foundations for learning, turning children onto learning and actually educating them. And please, let’s stop making a big deal about little children cutting with scissors.

 – Bob Doman

*We will generally acknowledge a child as being neuro-developmentally 5 when they have short-term and working memory that is commensurate with where we like to see five-year-olds. Specifically having short-term memory (auditory and visual digit spans of 5) and working memory (reverse auditory and visual digit spans of 4). Working memory is the foundation of executive function and determines complexity of thought and relates to global maturity.

Related Blog Articles:

Mila and Avery

Facundo

Making Kids Smart Isn’t Tough

To learn more about how you can work on you or your child’s short-term and working memory, check out the following links:

The Simply Smarter System (Windows/Mac)

NACD Cognition Coach – Toddler to 3 (iPad)

NACD Cognition Coach – Ages 3 to 5 (iPad)

Diverse Range of Variables

Creating a VisionMost parents ask this question of themselves and others. Many struggle with trying to answer it themselves, while others will seek answers from “experts.” The real answer to this question isn’t possible until we have a vision and begin to manage a diverse range of variables, without which we cannot answer the question with any degree of certainty.

What is my child’s potential—what can he or she achieve?

Every parent asks this question and those with rather typical kids have a fair and generally narrower range of expectations and possible outcomes and can attempt to factor in a variety of variables that they plan and hope to control. Parents of typical children can be very proactive, have a vision and try to pick the best of available schools and or academic opportunities, stay on top of their children’s progress and development, etc. and limit the involvement of too many people and avoid those who do not share their vision. The stronger the vision and the more proactive the parents, generally the narrower the range of variables and the better the odds that the parents can help their children achieve success. Such parents try to insure that everyone who is involved with their children share their vision. Children with less proactive or involved parents who go through their childhoods and “educations” without a clear vision, direction or someone in control are exposed to a greater diversity of variables and their futures are thus much more in question.

Families with special needs children tend to ask themselves and most anyone else who might venture an opinion the same question, “What is my child’s potential, what can he or she achieve?” Parents of special needs children tend to not trust their instincts and often abdicate the vision to others, often many others. The answer your neighbor on the other side of the fence might provide is unfortunately likely to be no better than that of the “experts.” Why? Because the more issues your child has the greater the “experts” perspectives are to be negatively influenced by the previous achievements or lack of such, of those with similar labels or issues and the immensely diverse range of variables. All of this tends to result in very low conservative visions. So, how do we begin the process of managing the variables? We do it by aiming high, by creating a vision, by being proactive. One huge factor that is under our control is what and how much do we as parents and to what degree we direct, control and create opportunities and to what degree we limit the number of participants who do not share our vision.

If our children’s potentials are left to the blowing winds and increasingly diverse range of variables produced by the ever-increasing numbers of educators, therapists, doctors, etc. who come in contact with our children, each acting on their vision and trying to modifying our vision, we decrease the odds that we can predict or positively impact our children’s futures. The diverse range of variables is just too great.

Having worked with and helped literally tens of thousands of families, I can safely say it’s very difficult for any child, but particularly a special needs child to exceed their parent’s expectations. Parents need a vision—the vision drives the directions, maintains parental control and limits variables. Parents, who do not have a vision or those who except low expectations simply are not as proactive as they need to be and are not taking control over the diverse range of variables. Give me a driven parent who maintains their vision any day.

As parents, as we contemplate the futures of our children we all face a diverse range of variables, but if we create the vision, take control, become empowered and proactive and “yes,” the more we apply the right stuff, the right way the more we begin to control variables and can not only imagine the future, but actually start to create it.

The perception will help drive the reality.

Create the vision and control the variables.

– Bob

Mila and Avery

Here are two videos of some extremely smart, happy, and very cute little girls. Two-year-old Mila is demonstrating her super auditory digit span of 5; and Avery (aka Shirley Temple), who just turned six, is showing us how much fun math can be.

Mila’s maturity and language, which are a reflection of her super processing skills, would blow your socks off! She’s really smart, really happy, and great fun. With her high processing, her world is much larger and richer than that of her peers, and the quality and quantity of information her brain processes every day is going to continue to keep moving her higher and higher. Just to put things in perspective, a lot of 5-year-olds can’t process a 5!

 

Miss Personality, Avery just gushes exuberance. To put her video in perspective, a note from Avery’s mom accompanied her video: “I just showed Avery the concept of borrowing (using Modular Math) and this is her second problem.“ The significance of this isn’t really that she has grasped borrowing, it’s that she loves it! How many parents can say their kids LOVE math? Step one in teaching any child anything—teach them to love it!

Every day I deal with children and parents struggling with school—kids who are learning to hate learning and often themselves in the process. Learning can and needs to be fun.

The foundation of development is neuroplasticity. Specific input delivered with the appropriate frequency, intensity, and duration is the key to success.

Guess what? If we can target our input, teach specifically to the child, create great processing skills, and make it fun, we produce great outcomes.

A big part of what excites me about these exceptional little ones is the fact that they are demonstrating the power of neuroplasticity and potential—the power and potential that lies in every child’s brain. They are a reflection of the opportunities they are receiving. Our children with developmental issues are often viewed as their labels with all the accompanying baggage. The baggage is being judged by the historical limitations of others with the same label that have preceded them over the past decades. The perception of limitations results in limited opportunities, and limited opportunities result in self-fulfilling prophecies. Every child, regardless of their issues and labels, needs to be perceived as a totally unique individual with unlimited potential and needs to be provided with real opportunities and the reality is the more issues they have, the more they need. We love seeing children exceed others’ expectations.

The power and potential of the human brain is literally unfathomable.

—Bob

What Develops Changes and That Which Changes Can Be Developed

I’m in LA and I just saw a great little eight-year-old boy who happens to have Down syndrome. He has a wonderful family who are doing all they can to help him in his development. He attends school and is in a special education class with kids with mild problems. He is the best reader in the class, which has everything to do with what he has been doing at home for years and nothing to do with school. If he were in college, he would evidently be a film major, because watching TV appears to be the primary activity in his school day, particularly on Fridays. Every Friday is TV day. Not that they don’t watch TV on other days, which they certainly do; but Friday is all TV. Ten children, four teachers (want to do the math and figure out how much that is costing us?), and what do they do to help these children develop? They watch TV–and not even “educational” TV. They watch movies.

Sadly, a significant chunk of the neuropsychological world and the educational world still doesn’t get that the basis of brain function is neuroplasticity, and that we can change and develop if given the opportunity. Perceive us as limited, and provide “opportunity” based on that perception, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy for all of our children and us as well.

You would think that after all these years this nonsense would no longer make me angry; but if anything I just get angrier.

What develops changes, and that which changes can be developed; and that includes working memory and intelligence.